Balling Tim Ore is Best

049. "Balling Tim Ore is Best"

- Dick Hertz & Tim Ore (ie: tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE)

- super 8 -> 1/2" VHS cassette

- 16:00

- august '85


For 6 wks in the summer of 1985 I worked in the basement of a porn store editing peep-show movies in regular & super 8mm from stock footage. These were made into loop cartridges & then projected onto a mirror & reflected from there onto a small screen in closet-sized rooms where men-only went - generally to masturbate to them. My coworker/collaborator was a guy known popularly as "Dick Hertz". 4 movies were available in each peep show. The projection of these movies was activated by dropping a purchased slug into a slot - wch wd cause a showing for one minute per slug. Movies cd be changed in mid-play by pressing buttons. On the outside of these booths were marquees, made from stock images from porn magazines etc by Dick & myself, that announced what the 4 movies to be seen inside were. Patrons wd choose what booth to enter based on the allurement of the marquees.

As a film & vaudeo maker, what interested me technically about this situation was that attendees had solo viewing situations that they cd edit (in a limited way) on the spot to satisfy their desire. As such, a client cd switch to a different film if the one he was watching wasn't exciting him enuf - in search of something more to his sexual tastes. This created a unique situation where his sexual drive was diverted from its actual object(ive) (another person in the flesh) to an image of the same - embodying capitalism's exploitation & perversion of natural urges at its worst BUT, at the same time, 'allowing' for a slightly less passive role in image consumption than usual movie-going provides.

Dick & I were very poorly pd & treated by employers who seemed to have almost no feeling for anything but money. We worked in an extremely dingy basement w/ no natural light where the feeling of oppression was strong. Not only was I working for the peep shows for 48 hrs a wk, I was also working for a used bk store 36 hrs a wk. This amounted to 84 hrs a wk for 6 wks w/ no days off. Monday thru Friday I awoke at 7AM, left for work at the peeps by bus at 7:15. It was the only job I've ever had where I punched a time-clock. If I was even a minute late, I was docked an hr's pay. At 4:30 or so I left that job to go by bus to the bookstore one. I left there around 10:30PM. Once home, I started to drink alcohol - getting wasted while I worked on "Balling Tim Ore is Best". Maybe I got to sleep by 1:30AM. Saturdays I only worked the peeps, Sundays I only worked the books. A grueling & miserable schedule. These were the conditions under wch my part of the film was made. I was poor & was trying to raise the money to buy a VCR.

"Balling Tim Ore is Best" was Dick's & my joke on the whole situation. We combined our own absurd footage w/ the most ridiculous of the stock footage to make the silliest thing we cd manage & then advertised it as "the kinkiest movie ever made" on the marquee to try to attract patrons w/ unusual tastes. One strategy w/ the found footage was to turn it upside-down. There were also many blow-job shots intercut w/ shots of Dick's face - pretending to be the recipient. These served a purpose explained in the next paragraph.

Dick's & my work was scrutinized by a manager. Every morning, he'd go thru all of the peep show booths & put slugs in & watch each of the movies for a few seconds to make sure that we weren't doing anything too weird. Since we made "Balling Tim Ore is Best" w/o the management's knowing, we had to show it in the peeps in a way so they missed it. Given that I quit the day the movie started, it was Dick's job to go into the booth every morning to advance the film to a blow-job so that when the manager got there that wd be all he wd see. The film screened for 2 wks & then Dick took it out & quit too. We sent out mailings advertising "Balling.." - including one to John Waters. He didn't attend because he thought it was just a joke.

Below are some of the explanatory texts that've been written about it over the yrs:

[Sometime around the time I comade this film w/ Dick Hertz, I wrote 2 texts about it: 1 under the name of tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE & 1 under the name of Tim Ore. This latter was apparently submitted to a publication called "Hare/Hunter/Field" but never used.


i partially consist of a subset named: Tim Ore. Tim Ore's name is derived from the name of the city that we reside in: BalTimOre. to Ball is slang for to have sexual intercourse. i worked at a pornography place where i edited porno film "specials" & maintained the peep shows that they were for. it was a low-paying job with a mandatory 48 hour work week & no lunch break. i've always had mixed feelings about pornography. i dislike any censorship & i like sex. i dislike the way that sexual stimulation through the mass media is a tightly controlled big business which encourages alienated & sexist consumer sexuality. i disliked the way that i was treated at this job. i worked there to explore this subculture, to get money, & to commit subversive acts. in conjunction with my co-worker Dick Hertz: we snuck in subliminal references to the Church of the SubGenius. otherwise, i snuck in references to Monty Cantsin (of the Neoists), performance group The Tinklers, & Ladies Against Women (a feminist humor group) - as well as dominatrix material that i was discouraged against using (men were only supposed to be shown in a domina position). finally Dick & i (as Tim Ore) made a parody of a porn film called: BALLING TIM ORE IS BEST which is a "take-off" of BalTimOre city's official bumper sticker: Baltimore is Best. this film alternated between some of my/our favorite "hard-core" sex scenes from the porno place's stock footage library & our own footage of such things as animation of vegetables fucking, someone getting a "blow-job" from a wig, & Tim Ore having a bone(r) removed by a dog from a face drawn on his/my ass. i quit the day after this film was snuck into the/a peep show booth. Dick Hertz managed to keep it in there unbeknownst to the bosses for 2 weeks & quit shortly after the time it was pulled out. we have since smuggled the film out so that we can show it elsewhere. women who haven't seen such pornography mistake it for somewhat atypical "real" porn rather than for the joke that it is. "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!" men usually perceive it's satiric intention more clearly.

- tentatively, a convenience


Employed as a "Peep Mechanic" recently (assembling peep-show "specials" for 123 projectors from stock footage from the porn place's film library) I was pleasantly surprised to note that the day before I quit this job the city of Bal Tim Ore honored my having worked there (apparently unknown to the management) by putting into one of the booths an approximately 20 minute sex ad for myself (& my co-worker: Dick Hertz) entitled: Balling Tim Ore is Best (a clever variation on the city's official bumper sticker: Bal Tim Ore is Best) - always pleased to spend my generous hourly wage of $4.23 which I received for my mandatory minimum 48 hour work week, I paid to watch this film to make sure that it adequately conveyed my awesome sexual abilities - I am pleased to report that it did so quite well with such scenes as those of: a dildo spurting real sperm onto a suggestion box (the slot of which consisted of a rubber cunt), my face spinning & contorting with simulated vomit on it (apparently filmed with a hidden camera by one of my voyeur admirers), & animation of vegetables & various other objects fucking on a Hustler centerfold - as seen through a keyhole matte - all alternating with generous helpings of cum-shots, bondage, urolagnia, angelic homosexuality, special effect blow-jobs, & elderly men consorting with the younger generation - therefore, I want to thank Mayor William Donald Schaeffer and the Citizens of Bal Tim Ore for paying tribute to me (their God of Fertility) & want them to know that, even though I don't love them, I am, as always, more than willing to "stick it to them" TIM ORE]


"a little known fact is that Baltimore is named such as an encouragement to people to fuck (i e: "ball") a man named Tim Ore. This city's clogan is "Baltimore is Best" - something even the biggest fool in the world isn't too likely to believe.. this vaudio was originally a film made on the sly & snuck into a peep-show where it was available for viewing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - for 2 weeks - after which it was snuck out again. let's hope it confused the bejeezus out of the businessmen & rednecks who went to jerk off before it.."

- excerpt from the notes to a 1988 PAL vaudeo compilation entitled "QUESTIONABLE EXAMPLES OF RESIDUE FROM SO-CALLED UNCATEGORIZABLE ACTIVITY" - Version 2 edited by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


"a combination of footage shot by the above 2 mixed with "stock footage" from the wage slave dungeon of capitalist sexuality - this was snuck into a peep-show booth where it was available for viewing for 2 weeks continuously. imagine businessmen & rednecks (& other "macho" misogynists alienated from women) trying to toss off their splotch to the through-the-peephole vegetables fucking scene! i particularly like the part where Superman is flying over Metropolis with Lois Lane hanging precariously from his cock of steel."

- excerpt from the notes to a 1988 PAL vaudeo compilation entitled "QUESTIONABLE EXAMPLES OF RESIDUE FROM SO-CALLED UNCATEGORIZABLE ACTIVITY" - Version 3 edited by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


"In one Super-8 film project, tENTATIVELY created a text that expressed his outrage at the way sexuality in this country has been exploited for profit by capitalism, pornography being the manifestation of that exploitation. After arranging to be hired as a peep show mechanic he would sneak out archival footage that would then be intercut with his own Super 8 production. The result is a 16 minute absurd comedy. The show, introduced by character generated titles reading "The following is a public service program brought to you by the city of Baltimore", was billed on the porno theater's marquee and ran for two weeks in the peep house without the manager discovering the intrusion. Friends were invited by specially designed invitations and regulars were treated to a truly avant garde porno feature that left them baffled and, well, limp."

- excerpt from Steve Libowitz's unpublished article "Guerrilla Media Making That's tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE", 1988


"In the middle of the '80s, some peep show visitors in Baltimore might have been somewhat disturbed when, right in the porn muddle, a grapefruit was penetrated by vegetable pieces. These confused gentlemen were not very likely to have reached their climax, after every turn-on (screwing) scene would be interrupted with ironically estranged artifices in dramaturgically refined intervals. After all, "Balling Tim Ore's Best," the smuggled-in fake porn film (named after his home town's advertising slogan, "Baltimore is Best"), ran 24 hours non-stop for two weeks until it was stolen back by its creator"

- excerpt from Katja Nicodemus' article "Vegetables in the Machinery" translated from German into English by Florian Cramer - originally published in "Tip" Berlin Magazin - Nr. 10/94 - 23. Jahrgang 5.5 - 18.5, 1994 - page 68


"Made as a collaboration between Tim Ore & Dick Hertz. We worked as 'Peep Show Mechanics' whose job it was to edit 35 'Peep Show Specials' for the booths every week. These films were made from stock footage that we had organized into various categories such as 'foot fetishist', '2 black women, 1 white man', etc. Given that I used the name 'Tim Ore' to convert the name of the city where this was made into a sex ad for myself (bal(l) is slang for intercourse - hence BalTimOre = Fuck Tim Ore) & that the slogan for the city is 'Baltimore is Best' the title of the film is obvious. We mixed together footage from our stock library & footage that we shot ourselves & snuck this film into the peep shows where it showed 24 hours a day for 2 weeks before we stole it back. The frequency of blow-jobs enabled us to advance the film to a 'normal' sex scene so that when our manager/inspector would look at the film for a few seconds in his daily rounds he wouldn't notice anything 'weird'. Keep in mind that men sit in these booths to masturbate & imagine their confusion during such scenes as the thru-the-peephole vegetable fucking scene."

- from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's program notes for the "Pavlovian Skinnerios at Eiszeit Kino" screening in Berlin, Germany: Mittwoch - 18. Mai '94




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