Romancing the Kidney Stone:

A Display of Evidence in the Curious Case of

"Blaster" Al Ackerman

 

The great writer, cartoonist, Mail Artist, trickster, philosopher & all-round unique human being known as "Blaster" Al Ackerman (November 27, 1939 - March 17, 2013) occupied a position of some considerable importance in my life. When I 1st started engaging in Mail Art in the fall of 1978 I'd been given a list of names & addressses of Mail Artists by my friend Cathy Gayhardt. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized that part of that list was in Blaster's handwriting. Even in that early stage of my engagement, Blaster's magnificent networking magik made its presence felt.

After Blaster's untimely death (why he was barely out of diapers!) I scanned every bit of correspondence & other relevant things from him that I'd managed to preserve in my often tumultuous life. The idea was to create a compilation of this called "Romancing the Kidney Stone". Alas, the government came along & stole almost every 'spare' penny I have under the guise of 'Affordable [NOT!!] Health Care' making it highly unlikely that I'll ever produce the book.

I did, however, make a feature-length movie using one of Blaster's favorite correspondence phrases, "This Will Explain", as its title. This incorporated all of the scans & gives a pretty good idea of the perverse overflowing cornucopia of Blaster-world as experienced by just one friend of his. It's certainly a laughing matter. I've only managed to screen this messterpiece ONCE, so far, at the memorial Blasterthon in BalTimOre. I gave a reading of a Blaster text as part of this memorial & made a short movie from the reading that incorporates footage from the feature. It's entitled "letter to Kem" & can be witnessed here: http://youtu.be/HhaKB8ZUOg4 .

This website, like most of mine, will be perpetually under construction. Blaster was mind-bogglingly prolific & produced work for hundreds, if not thousands, of people that was tailored especially for them. The personal touch was central to his MO. Compiling all these widespread artifacts is a job for a team of historians w/ a budget the size of the US military. In fact, using the US military's budget instead of for its current purposes would be fitting. If the shoe fits, bang it on a UN table to get attention.

The attempt here will be to try to present it all in chronological order. For scientists, this will provide useful, if befuddling, proof that continual drinking of cheap beer not only doesn't impair the brain's functioning (in some rare instances) but may even turn it into a veritable lighthouse that illuminates dangerous black holes for people half-heartedly trying to walk a straight line on a perfectly paved sidewalk.

The labeling system will be self-evident to people who see themselves not-reversed when they look in the mirror. The 1st 3 numbers represent the order in which I probably received the wholy object. If there's then a "0" or a "5" or a "7" after the period & followed by another period it means that I found something else to squeeze in the chronology between one integer & another. EG (that's "for example" (in English) for those of you who don't know your Latin abbreviations): between "001" & "002" I decided that the calendar should be placed. Rather than make the calendar "002" & have to renumber everything after it (making the original "002" into "003" etc) I made the original "001" into "001.0" & made the calendar "001.5" - thusly leaving room for "001.1"-"001.4" & "001.6"-"001.9" in case I discover anything else that I think fits into the chronology that way.

Following the 1st set of numbers is the date of the missive - usually based on the date of the letter, if there is one, or the post-mark, wherever possible. Following that is a brief description of the contents of the mailing. As the non-blind observer of this material will no doubt notice, much of the mailings are covered in smoke damage &/or ripped &/or faded, etc. The smoke damage is a sortof 'carbon-dating system' aid to show that the material was received before my apartment was set fire to by an arsonist in early 1985. Additionally, in September of 1983, I'd displayed much of Blaster's work at Jules's Loft as part of the Church & Foundation of the SubGenius's Convention in BalTimOre that I coorganized. Much of it was 'lost' (or stolen or trashed) at that time. Some of the material is left out of the chronology & added at the end b/c the date for it is too uncertain.

In general, my Blaster archive is not very well-preserved but, nonetheless, it's preserved anyway. After all, my life has had its, uh, 'ups & downs'. If you're a blatantly perverted visionary in a society of robopaths & megalomaniacal untertan you might as well expect to meet some friction more often than not.

Since Blaster & I had a correspondence going, much of what's presented here is only half of the story (or less) because my own contribution to the exchange is missing. I don't have copies of my letters but I do have copies of many of the things that I would've sent to Blaster & I have records listing them. Someday, I might add those but not anytime soon. For the moment, I'll be content to just show what I have left of Blaster's part of our correspondence. I might then start to upload all of the other Blaster materials I have which are even more voluminous.

If anyone copies & redistributes or repurposes any of these materials I would very much appreciate it if you would give the "tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Archive" credit & if you would notify me of whatever you've done with the materials at the email address given below. It's my hope that my very substantial archive will be preserved after my death.

- February 2016EV note from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE

 

Received from Blaster as Correspondence:

001.0.1980.10.26: Church of the SubGenius; The Eight Tit Saxophone of Known World

001.5.1981: calendar

002.1981.01.20; Dummyism

003.1981: Memory

004.0.1981.02: Messier

004.5.1981.03.10: Macklin's Little Friend

004.7.1981.06.21: Laughing Postman

005.1981: Addenda

006.1981: Shavertron

007.5.1981.08.24

008.1981.09.28: Hebephrenic Calendar; Aunt Margaret

009.0.1982.01.14: Speech of a Guide

010.1982.01.27: Semi-Ghazals

011.1982.02.19: Little League; Laughing Postman 8

014: Oldest Telephone Operator

015.1982.03.17: Fruitland; "Bob" add-to-&-send-on

016.1982.03.31: Laughing Postman 9

017.1982.04.26: Red Queen; Turtle Bondage; Tie Minutes

018.0.1982.04.29: Be Eyes for Me, Mole

018.5.1982.05.04: envelope

022: Zio's Friend

023.1982.06.17: Harry Bates Club News

024.1982.06.23: COA Tarantula Hill

026.0.1982.07: Laughing Postman 10

026.5.1982.08.03: envelope

028.1982.08.11: Tarantula Hill Felark Sun = Times Bulletin Newsletter

029.0.1982.08.21: Squirrel Newsome, Jr

029.5.1982.08.24: envelope

030.0.1982.09.01: Blaster in cemetery post-card

030.5.1982.09.05: OZ post-card

031.1982.09.06: envelope

032.1982.09.14: Tarantula Hill Felark Sun = Times Bulletin Newsletter

033.1982.09.22: Maryland Geological Survey returned

034: Pissing + Balloon post-card

035.0: White Worm

035.5.1982.09.27: envelope

035.7.1982.10.03: envelope

037.1982.10.18: post-card

038.1982.10.18: Cocktail Napkins & Sympathetic Letter

039.1982.11.19: White Worm Review

040.1982.10.27: Laurel McElwain

041: Bob Flitt post-card

043.1982.12.22: NYC/BalTimOre Name Exchange proposal

044.1982.12.27: Nattovni

045.1983.01.03: Lit Farts

046.1983.01.20: House Painters' World

047.1983.01.24: The Fatal Mac + 'Bus Pass'

048: Perfect Specimen

049.1983.02.08: Shit Log

050.1983.02.14: House Painter's World

051.1983.02.15: Ann of the Thousand Knobs

052.1983.02: What Goes On #3 Moustachioz

053.1983.03.05: Zebras; Willis's Suicide; etc

054.1983.03.07: Fibber & Molly, William S. Burroughs; etc

055.1983.04.12: Sex & Violence

056.1983.04.13: Monty Cantsin + Blaster post-card

057: Modern Humans

059.1983.05.25: Confessions of an American Ling Master

060.1983.06.04: "Sex Pill" for Men!

061.0.1983: Big Maf; You are the Entity

061.5.1983.06.18: Miscellaneous

062.1983.06.22: NUT REUNION!

063.1983.07.05: The "N" League

064.0.1983: Zomoid

064.5.1983.07.12: envelope

065.1983.07.15: Lou Costello Fan Club post-card

066.1983.08.04: Psychosomatic

067.1983.08.08: Haystack

068.1983.08.17: Shirker Elder

069.1983.08.19: Bubble

070.1983.08.19: PS to Bubble post-card

071.1983.08.26: Shirker is

073.1983.09: I Vant to Build 50,000 of These Robots!!

075.1983.09: Undershirt

076.1983.10.01: Into the Tunnel of Madness

077.1983.10.13: 'Ed Lefko' photo, etc

078.1983.10.14: Leader of the Pup tENT Cult

079.1983.10.17: Afraid; I Remember Lemuria

082.1983.11: Terror of the Obnoxious A-Holes

083.1983.11.17: Wet Radio

084.1983.11: DDC rc'vd

085.0.1983.11: A Journey to the Earth's Interior

085.5.1983.11.29: When A. Derleth comes to Dark-Hoe

086.1983.11.25: Bleeding

087.1983.12: T he Poop & Pee Dog Copyright Violation Ceremony tape

088.0.1983.12: The Edgar Allen Poe Messenger

088.5.1983.12: Elopes

089.1983.12.15: Fritten Parlor

090.1984.01.01: Sax Rohmer's Widow

091.1984.01.06: 14 Secret Masters of the World

092.1984.01: A1 Waste Paper Co., Ltd +

093.1984.01.26: Fart

094.0.1984.01.27: Lost Bell

094.5.1984.01.30: Ant Man

095.1984.02.04: In the Alps

096.1984.02.08: Spitter post-card

097.1984.02.11: Gutter

098.1984.02.10: Be Mine, Valentine

099.1984.02.21: Franklin Furnace

100.1984.02: Dredradiophone

102.1984.03.10: Art Maggots

103.1984: Arf!

104.1984.03.20: Terror post-card

105.1984.03.31: The Fondler

106.1984.04: Lisa Wetlegs

107.1984.04.04: Sinnit-Nut Hollow Earth Symposium post-card

108.00.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Mystery tape

108.01.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Cave tape

108.02.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Cave tape

108.03.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Cave tape

108.04.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Cave tape

108.05.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Cave tape

108.06.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Cave tape

108.07.1984.04: Sinnit-Nut Hollow Earth Symposium tape

109.1984.04.14: Quack-Quack Stories

110.1984.04.26: The Road to Dero post-card

111.1984.09.07: The Edgar Allen Poe Messenger; Harry Bates; Bread Doll Fancier

112.1984.09.20: The Curate & the Haint

113.1984.10.08: "until further notice" post-card

114.1984.10.11: Coming Soon

115.1984.11.30: The Phantom of the Mall

116.1984.12.20: Season's Beatings

117.1984.12: Dredradiophone Broadcast; Know Yourself

118.1985.02: That Ching What Am

119.1985.05.20: COA + Stamps

120.1986.03.26: Fear of Bedwetting

121.1986.04.09: Friends

121.5.1992: Official cartoon

122.2013: Last letter

 

 

tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE

idioideo at verizon dot net

 

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Anti-Neoism page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Audiography page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Bibliography page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE BYOC page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Censored or Rejected page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE (d) compositions page

to Amir-ul Kafirs' Facebook page

to the "FLICKER" home-page for the alternative cinematic experience

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's GoodReads profile

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Haircuts page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE Home Tapers page

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE index page

to a listing of tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's manifestations on the Internet Archive

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE as Interviewee index

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE as Interviewer index

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE'S Linked-In profile

for A Mere Outline for One Aspect of a Book on Mystery Catalysts, Guerrilla Playfare, booed usic, Mad Scientist Didactions, Acts of As-Beenism, So-Called Whatevers, Psychopathfinding, Uncerts, Air Dressing, Practicing Promotextuality, Imp Activism, etc..

to the mm index

to see an underdeveloped site re the N.A.A.M.C.P. (National Association for the Advancement of Multi-Colored Peoples)

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's Neoism page

to the DEFINITIVE Neoism/Anti-Neoism website

to the Philosopher's Union website

to the tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE movie-making "Press: Criticism, Interviews, Reviews" home-page

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's Score Movies

to SMILE

to find out more about why the S.P.C.S.M.E.F. (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sea Monkeys by Experimental Filmmakers) is so important

to the "tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE - Sprocket Scientist" home-page

to Psychic Weed's Twitter page

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's Vimeo index

to Vine movies relevant to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE made by Ryan Broughman

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's presence in the Visual Music Village

for info on tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's tape/CD publishing label: WIdémoUTH

to a very small selection of tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's Writing

to the onesownthoughts YouTube channel