079. booed usic on Mozart's 200th Birthday

- Galaxy Ballroom, Baltimore, us@

- Monday, January 27, 1986, 9 - 11:30PM

- Attendees were given a paper entitled "19 Preposterous Lies About What Will & Will Not Happen" & a Mike Film Form Letter (see a previous entry for a superficial explanation of this 1) & a "bruise" rubber-stamping to indicate that they paid when they entered. I wore shoes made from loaves of bread; presented films, slides, & vaudeos; cut a "double negative" shape in my leg; I read Tony Lowe's "Universal Famine Appeal" while launching his balloons with slogans on them like "Thoughts Can Fly"; the audience was prompted to "sing along" to the "graphic notation" of my film "Sound Along WITH t he Bounding Ball(s)"; & the booed usicians played. For this occasion they were: Herr Brain Storm Drain (percussion, cornet), Beef Jerky (small instruments, etc..), Mark Harp (tapes), Norman Yeh (violin & piano), & myself (tapes, records, & radios). Projectionist: Joan Lobell. To quote from the "19 Lies" flier "The average person prefers to only experience the consonant - by which I mean experience which they fool themselves into thinking that they are comfortably familiar with. I do not want the average person near me. I prefer the dissonant vowels. That's a thought to take into consideration when you wonder why I might lie when publicizing public it shows (mad scientist didactions) that I instigate & participate in."

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


080. "Miss Gay Galaxy" on the "Larry Vega Show"

- Galaxy Ballroom, Baltimore, us@

- early1986?

- [October 16, 2010 note: I had previously left this off my "Mere Outline.." because it was such a minor 'performance' but, shucks, there might be SOMEONE out there who'd find this interesting & it would seem that I'm becoming a 'completist' here so I'm including it.] "Larry Vega" (aka "Dick Hertz") hosted a fake tv talk show in the Galaxy Ballroom in the Congress Hotel &, later, at the 8 X 10 Club. Larry's costars were "Corky Niedermayer" (aka Mark Harp), & "Morry Fine and his All-Blind Orchestra". Stoc Marcut made frequent appearances as did many others. Stoc portrayed Dr Ruth & Tom Synder, eg. Larry's show was deliberately vulgar & politically incorrect - glorying in moronic tv spoof humor. His stock phrase was "What the hell ya gonna do?". In a hand-out for the August 19, 1986 show at the 8 X 10, Larry described himself with:


LIKES: fast cars, fast women, fast foreplay, smoking

HATES: slow cars, slow women, rattan, the handicapped


FAVE FOOD: cold borshcht

SCOTCH: Old Overcoat


Vega had asked someone to be a guest "Miss Gay Galaxy" (probably someone who was gay) & when they didn't show asked me to substitute. I didn't want to play being gay by using swish (or any other) stereotypes so I probably quickly brainstormed with my girlfriend of the time, O. J. D'Art, & one other unknown male friend to do a different routine. I went on stage just wearing my usual ragged winter clothes & as response to Larry's questions pretended to be very shy. I explained that I wasn't the only one who deserved the "Miss Gay Galaxy" award because I had been 1/3rd of Siamese Triplets & that we'd recently been surgically separated. Taking my cue from a comedy routine by Janor Hypercleets, the "living tongue" of the Church of the SubGenius, I explained that when we were separated I'd gotten the balls. I named my other 2/3rds something like Janor & Janet Hypercleets in honor of this. I don't think Janor was in town at the time but maybe he was the male colllaborator. I then invited my other 2/3rds on stage. They came on, twitching - this was probably intended to look as if they weren't "all there" & the 3 of us proceeded to pretend to attempt to reunite - rolling around orgiastically on the floor while Vega 'cut to a commercial' or whatnot.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


081. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE & t he booed usicians' Mad Scientist Didaction

- Tufts University, Massachusetts, us@

- Thursday, April 17, 1986, 9 - 11PM

- This didaction had the usual mix of films, vaudeos, anecdotes, slides, & booed usic - with the addition (which became a staple thruout the "6 Fingers Crossed Country T.Ore/Tour" that this was the 1st installment of) of mechanical "lewd" dancing during the projection of the peep show movie "Balling Tim Ore is Best" (that I co-made as Tim Ore with Dick Hertz). I was naked except for a sweatshirt with a model of 6 tits on it, ankle bells, & a plastic ball & chain that had "work" painted on it during this latter. The booed usicians were: Michael Bloom (guitar), Norman Yeh (violin & lyre), Jake Dillon (amplified electric football game - unfortunately most of his equipment had been recently stolen so this didn't work very well), & myself (tapes, records, & radios). Projectionist: Joan Lobell.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


082. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE & t he booed usicians' Mad Scientist Didaction

- the Bunker of La Société de Conservation du Présent, Montréal, CacaNada

- Samedi, 19 Avril, 1986

- John Berndt & I built a maze out of muslin (brought especially for this purpose) at the entrance of this space. While people were filtering in, Steve Estes' 1/2 hour student video "Drinking & Smoking" was shown. This tape is a close-cropped shot showing Steve from the neck down to mid-torso & his arms opening a bottle of whiskey & a pack of cigarettes on a table in front of him. He then drinks the bottle of whiskey (a pint if I remember correctly) in its entirety during the course of the tape until he slumps forward onto the table. The booed usic gradually came in during this. I was wearing my "Hair Suit" (a pair of coveralls covered with wigs - an obvious pun on "hirsute") & the usual combination of booed usic, slide show, films, skin cutting, "robotic" lewd dancing with "6 tits" + "ball & chain" + ankle bells, vaudeos, attempts to get the audience to "sound along", & anecdotes was presented. Representatives of the S.C.P. typed in a description of the (did)action while it was happening into a computer which displayed their typing on a screen to the audience. This is the "show" that led to 1 idiot labelling me a "pornographer disguising himself as an artist". The booed usicians: John Berndt (organ), Norman Yeh (violin & lyre), Guy Boulanger (sound-board & effects), & myself (tapes, records, radios). Projectionist: Joan Lobell.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


083. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE & t he booed usicians' Mad Scientist Didaction

- the Rivoli Club, Toronto, CacaNada

- Wednesday, April 23, 1986

- More of the same basic "6 Fingers Crossed Country T.Ore/Tour" ingredients: mechanistic "Balling Tim Ore is Best" "dancing" (in this case I laid on my back & did "bicycle exercises" while gently kicking the projection screen), vaudeos & films (seperately & simultaneously), an attempted "sound along", anecdotes, slides, & booed usic. The booed usicians were: Norman Yeh (lyre & violin), Gordon W. Zealot (nol - North Indian folk drum), Tom Evans (Shanai & Banseri - Indian wind instruments), & myself (tapes, records, & radios). One audience member reminded me, 9 years later, that during the presentation of "Balling Tim Ore is Best" the audience was locked in & Gordon W. lit a large quantity of incense which made the room suffocatingly dense with smoke. Given the nature of my presentation & the oppressiveness of Toronto censorship laws, both the Rivoli & the Funnel (where the next night's didact(ion) was presented) took the risk of being closed down by letting me "perform" there.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


084. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE & t he booed usicians' Mad Scientist Didaction

- the Funnel, Toronto, CacaNada

- Thursday, April 24, 1986

- A similar presentation to that of the night before with a somewhat different line-up of films & vaudeos but the basic elements otherwise intact - including the same booed usicians & instrumentation (see the previous entry). John Porter, from the Funnel, used a photo from this to illustrate an article he wrote called "Performance Postponed". Thank You John.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


085. Mad Scientist Didaction

- the Kuenzle Room, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, us@

- Saturday, April 26, 1986, 8PM

- Having been left by my fellow T.Ore/Tourists (Norman Yeh & Joan Lobell) a few hours before this show after a big fight with Joan, I decided to structure my presentation somewhat accordingly. I told the audience that I wouldn't start until everyone there "introduced" me - explaining that people are whatever other people make them into with their perceptions. There was some resistance to this. 1 of the co-sponsors of this event, from the "Campus Crusade for "Bob"", said that he didn't know me but that he thought I was crazy. "Crowbar", the only person there who even knew me somewhat, was friendly in his intro. 1 of a couple of deadbeat fashion "Goths" just said "Fuck You!" - apparently desperate for some "hard-core" "clever" response. I accepted this latter & began. No booed usic this night, just films, vaudeos, anecdotes, & "robo-porn" "dancing". This being the same night as the school's prom, at 1 point a couple in full prom garb (tux & ball-gown) wandered into the room either looking for something prom related or a place to have sex or some such. This happened to be when I was showing "Balling Tim Ore is Best" & "pogo-stick" "dancing" around the room with the "6 tits", the ankle bells, the "work ball & chain", & a white sock rubber-banded around my cock.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


086. Mad Scientist Didaction

- EYEMEDIAE, Ann Arbor, us@

- Monday, April 28, 1986, 8PM

- Once again, films, vaudeos, skin cutting (this time on a ladder), character-armored sex dancing, & a "sound-along". This latter &/or the audience-participatory "booed usic" at the end were enthusiastically participated in by some of the audience with chair-banging & such-like. Special Ed (an Ann Arbor mix-master radio maestro) told me it was 1 of the funniest shows he'd ever seen - but then no-one really seemed to want to talk with me afterwards so who knows?

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


087. Mad Scientist Didaction

- Time Out Hot Tubs, Boulder, us@

- Saturday, May 10, 1986, 9PM

- The (un)usual mix of "sound-along", film, vaudeo, nude work-"Balling" dancing, & quasi-"booed usic" (if there as such a thing). The quasi-"booed usicians": Joel Haertling (electronic greeting card), Rick Corrigan (synthesizers), myself (tapes). This didaction was mainly distinquished by its being presented in a storage room of a hot tubs business - fending off an apparently ecstacy-induced lust from a woman (once again proving what a serious fool I can be) while I tried to set up. During the concluding booed usic improvised by Rick & Joel, I stripped & lay in a near-by immersion tank & encouraged other members of the audience to do the same - after which I had a substantial patina of salt to display.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


088. Mad Scientist Didaction

- the Pirate Contemporary Art Oasis, Denver, us@

- Sunday, May 11, 1986, 9PM

- Film, vaudeo, anecdotes, "work ball & chain" ankle bell "6 tits" nudist character-armored "robo-porn" "dancing", "booed usic", etc.. Mostly memorable for the boorish rudeness of "Miracle" (who were on the same bill) & for Evan Cantor's remarkable feedback-alto-sax & milk-can drum set-up.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


089. Mad Scientist Didaction

- Eye Gallery, San Francisco, us@

- Saturday, May 17, 1986, 8PM

- The last stop of the "6 Fingers Crossed Country T.Ore/Tour". Free to anyone calling themselves an anarchist (even if they didn't mean it). "Pogo-stick" nudist "6 tit" "work ball & chain" "Balling Tim Ore is Best" ankle bells "dancing" (you know ), anecdotes, film, vaudeo, formalism, visceralness - a little bit of this & that to alienate & entice just about anyone who might be willing to sit thru 2 or 3 hours of it.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


090. to 106. First Meeting Re-Enactments

- San Francisco, San Antonio, & Baltimore, us@

- every Monday (except June 2) from May 26 'til September 22?, 1986

- Martha Peterson & I met when I showed my film (made as Monty Cantsin in collaboration with Monty Cantsin & Monty Cantsin - with soundtrack by Monty Cantsin, etc..) "Transparent SMILE - Monty Cantsin Performing with White Colours" (broken into 2 parts on YouTube: https://youtu.be/EGc-rohmq4k & https://www.youtu.be/p84MiQDrsnc ) at a bar called the "Sixteenth Note" in San Francisco. We "fell in love" (a.k.a. had sex under the influence of Ecstacy) & I asked her to go to BalTimOre with me. On our weekly-versaries, we "re-enacted" meeting each other for the 1st time by reliving it in various new ways. This story is told in substantial detail in the "I Guess SMARM isn't Short for School Marm After All?" chapter in the revised 2nd edition of my book How to Write a Resumé - Volume II: Making a Good First Impression. As such, I'll keep the description short here. Martha & I would, usually, go to a public place pretending not to know each other & go through a pre-planned mating ritual - the silly extravagance of which was sometimes intended to bemuse unsuspecting onlookers. Sometimes we had confederates. One of these was filmed in super-8 by Patty Blaster in San Antonio. This was probably the 2nd re-enactment & to quote the YouTube notes: "The cynical good humor & alcoholic self-parody is clear.": http://youtu.be/Ne1_-f6RaQg My current favorite might be the one where I went to a bar /restaurant where I had friends working & where the bar-tender, John Fonda, was a friend of mine. Martha came in later & told the bar-tender that she'd just arrived from San Francisco. When he asked her why she'd move to B-More from there, she said that she'd seen a film show by a guy named "tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE" & that she'd liked it so much that she decided to move to the city where he lived. John got very excited & told her that I was sitting in the restaurant. She, very shyly approached me at my table where I was sitting with friends & introduced herself. When "it came out" that "she'd just arrived in Baltimore & had no place to stay" I "magnanimously" offered to "let her stay at my hotel for free". My friends were shocked at my using such a ridiculous lie as to say that I owned a hotel in such a transparent ploy to fuck Martha but they didn't say anything. After a little more of this straight-faced silliness, she & I left together. This provided material for gossip for months until I finally told my friends that they'd been set up. The laziest "re-enactment" I can recall was one where Martha simply came into my bedroom while I was there & we tried to figure out how we could've managed to not previously meet each other when we'd been sharing the same bedroom! We managed to continue this practice 15 to 17 times until we were no longer interested in each other enough to bother.

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


107. pirate tv premier of "6 Fingers Crossed Country T.Ore/Tour" vaudeo

- Luskin's, Towson, Maryland, us@

- Saturday, December 27, 1986, 3PM

- With the essential collaboration of Lizard Media Systems & using a channel 3 broadcaster, we tried a test-run broadcast from Lizard's mobile home. It was a sunny day & my vaudeo showed bright & clear on the wall of tvs in the Luskin's (a sortof cheap home entertainment center store). For the actual event, a fairly large group of people was organized to meet at Lizard's R.V. They were asked to go in small groups into the Luskin's & to gradually tune all the tvs to channel 3 while we broadcast the guerrilla premier of the vaudeo quasi-document of the "6 Fingers Crossed Country T.Ore/Tour". Unfortunately, the broadcast wasn't working at 1st & none of the people tuning the tvs to 3 thought to come back to tell us that the tvs were only receiving "snow". This had alerted the salesman that something weird was going on & they were following the strange "customers" & retuning the tvs to football. Finally we got the transmission corrected & the pirate tv game continued. All of the participants did a good job of playing it straight & the Luskin's personnel never really did have any clear idea why they suddenly had so many customers wanting to tune the tvs to a channel that "doesn't get anything" but was getting something anyway!

- recollections from tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE


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