1989. How to Write a Resumé - Volume II: Making a Good First Impression (1st edition)
"How to Write a Resumé - Volume II: Making a Good First Impression" is the closest thing to an autobiography that I've written & is probably my most 'popular' book. This 1st edition was published by Tom DiVenti's Apathy Press (THANKS TOM!) which was named ironically given that Apathy was far from apathetic.
The title of the book was similarly humorously misleading. There was no Volume I for this to be the follow-up to & one might think that the subject of "Making a Good First Impression" would've been in the 1st volume (if there'd been one). This 1st edition was only 118 copies. Tom might've been working for Kinko's at the time &, if he was, he would've gotten a discount printing rate. I did eventually publish a 2nd edition with 72 more pages in an edition of 200. I was either working for Kinko's at the time or still had connections there so I, too, got a discounted rate since I did all the work myself.
Tom's nice statement about me on the back seemed reasonable enough to me at the time. Now, roughly 29 years later, I'd be amazed if I could get any friend of mine to write anything coherent about me whatsoever.
The "Table of Contents" gives at least a hint about what followed.
Here's the introduction followed by the 1st chapter, hearkening back to when I had just turned 19 in 1972:
It's amazing to me in retrospect that this book not only got reviewed but got reviewed FOUR TIMES. At the time there's no way I would've thought of it as a 'Golden Age' but I can't even get a single review or even get people to read my books at all anymore. I realize that people find my more recent books & recordings almost unbearably difficult but, c'mon people, are you such intellectual weaklings?!
It's interesting to note that one woman who I was foolish enough to have sex with before I realized that she was someone to avoid like the plague was also someone that I gave a copy of this book too. Shortly thereafter, she hired a Mafia lawyer (she was somewhat wealthy) to try to have me prosecuted & gave him this book to use as evidence against me. That didn't work. The lawyer, who worked for the Jewish Mafia that controls Baltimore's porn district called "The Block", a notorious area of drug addiction & brutality, tried to prejudice the judge against me because I was in my 30s & my girlfriend was in her 20s. The judge dismissed that with a gesture.
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